The cost of raising a child is now estimated at £132,000.
Where do they get these figures from.
Average?
Who exactly do they poll?!!
If one privately educates children, the bill will be actually far greater than this.
Dig deeper into the article and it sites that these costs include paying £20,000 for a wedding, paying off uni fees and a house deposit for each child. Clearly these are regarded as absolutes.
I have also read quite a few reactions to this item.
Call me sensitive with three weeks to go, and 18 months planning under my belt but I find some of the responses I read even more distasteful than the article itself!
Whilst I do not agree with letting my children drink there way through Uni (if infact they choose to go) and paying for it, when we go out once a year to celebrate our wedding anniversary, if they were in a really awful situation I would help them out. My mum used to send me stamps and always bought me a food parcel. Both were appreciated. Our eldest daughter, bravely after training for one career. changed when her daughter was a year old and went to Uni. I have ENDLESS respect for how hard she has had to work with her daughter in tow and all the jobs she has had to undertake to keep herself afloat. She has never asked us for a penny. Have we helped her, yes, because she has deserved it and appreciated the little we have been able to do. This has mainly been helping babysitting Ella, so she does not incur larger daycare bills! She has done incredibly well, and has earn't respect in all her teaching practice schools.
A house deposit? I do not agree with. It does no harm to rent and to save, when you buy your first house it is a huge achievement. I remember when we moved into our first house, shortly after we got married. I sat on the stairs and looked around, I could not believe it belonged to us! Then the responsibility kicked in.
I can understand however if I only had one child, and a disposable income that allowed this, I probably would help my child get onto the housing ladder. I guess a lot of this article depends on outlook, number of children and income really.
I do not agree with the notion that children should have to do all these things themselves as helping them means they will be spoilt brats depending on Mummy and Daddy for handouts.
I have taught over nearly 27 years children form adverse poverty I cannot imagine, poor children who were loved and looked after, children in the middle band incomes, well off children and very rich children (one who's dad was in The Sunday Times 10 richest in the country).
It is not what you would expect I can say. I have seen kids from poor backgrounds spoilt and given whatever they want whilst their parents suffer to keep their child's 'wants' met. Likewise, I have taught a wonderful family with four children, who lived in a muli million pound house and went on the most amazing holidays. They had cooks and nannies. They were some of the most grounded children I have ever had the pleasure of teaching. Their rooms did not have tv's expensive equipment nor computers. They have all grown up now and have incredible careers. All credit to their lovely parents who were always a joy to deal with, and who kept them grounded by disciplining them! It just shows you!
When we become parents we undertake to do certain things and to accept certain responsibilities. I am sure some people will not agree with me on this one, however I do not believe it fair to impose my own personal beliefs and way of life on my children. Sure, we live this certain way and expect the children to do so as well, however, I do not live their lives. School , for example is a minefield I never experienced as a child. The internet and mobile technology has increased both the sociability aspect as well as the materialistic one. When child one went to Secondary School I was adamant I would not bend in any way whatsoever. Then I saw this made her at times unhappy as well as ostracised. We then compromised. Big Brother will ALWAYS be banned, they will just have to not join in those conversations, however other things I have bent on.
That is only one example.
Likewise when it came to my daughters wedding, they day as a little girl she had dreamed about, drew pictures of and planned at least 100 times in her mind, I am sorry, I make no apologies I wanted to put my heart and soul into this, she is my child, my first born and I love her dearly. I want to make this day her most precious and special in whatever way I can. If that means scrimping and saving then so be it. If that means putting my time and energy into making things I will gladly do so.
When we knew we were going to have a big family we started a savings account for their weddings. It was never something I did not consider helping with in anyway. I cannot imagine turning around to her and saying 'sorry love you have to save the whole lot yourself'. My mother had a very limited budget for our wedding and we saved most ourselves, however we were very grateful for the contribution she made, because we knew it came from her heart. My wedding was amazing in a totally different way. Everyone in my church came together to help. Someone had an old vintage car, they dressed up and drove me to the church, theI believe traditionally a wedding is something, as parents we should help with, again depending on our children's financial circumstances and within a budget. We have a very strict budget, this literally covered the dress and the reception which were my daughters two priorities. To her the rest was not as important. We are very grateful for the contributions both her partners parents have also made. Abigail and Glenn have also scrimped and saved for this day,together we have all worked to make it the most amazing and special we can. I feel privileged to be part of it and we have spent a fraction of the quoted price, however for us, we have spent a lot of money. Well spent as far as I am concerned. My daughter has thanked and appreciated everything we have done endlessly and this has certainly not turned her into a spoilt, demanding brat, well she never was one anyway!
I chose to have a large family, my children however did not. Whilst they love all their siblings, they also are aware we have to be careful and live, like many others within a budget. I never want them to resent being part of a large family or worse still blame us for this. None of them have, they are all great children who I have had the privilege of raising. The sacrifices we have made have been so worth every penny and I will gladly do it over again in whatever ways I can.
I will equally look forward to helping to contribute to Anya and Caleb's weddings. I intend to be around for these and to again help in whatever way I can. My children are very self sufficient, but they also know they can come to us for help when things don't go according to plan. I am sure this will never quite reach £132, 000 however!
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