I think this is one of my favourite bible quotes. It really means don't hold a grudge or let things fester on and on, but sort it out before the end of the day. It is something I try very hard to do, and something we try to instil in the children as well. Sort it out, do whatever it takes and move on.
Running a charity that involves daily hearing tragic tales of babyloss helps me to do this, and also to take the rest of my life, and insignificant things that may have otherwise upset me, into a much broader context.
Loosing a baby, sadly, as so many other have found, also helps you to do this. When you loose a baby, nothing else matters, nothing else is ever as bad. Other things that would have bothered or upset you simply don't. People who continue to moan and hold a grudge you simply avoid because they have no understanding of what intense pain you are feeling or just how trivial their issues really are in the wider scheme of things.
The children find this a bit harder. In the age of facebook (which we do not allow until 6th form), texting and multi media ways of arguing, it is so easy to 'carry on' , to continue to force your point of view or hurt others. It is a constant conversation we have about what is appropriate to write and say, and what simply isn't.
They read this blog, so the same principles need to apply to me as well.
Therefore, unlike some other blogs I have read, I choose to write about funny and amusing things that happen in our lives, or give some practical solutions that we have over time found helpful, rather than making myself appear something I am not, by taking the chance to belittle someone else or their opinions.
Likewise, on my own facebook, I am now very careful as well. At times I have been 'caught out' and someone may have made a judgemental comment that I feel I have to comment on. I have learnt now simply to ignore these now. A few months ago, I had an unfortunate incident where I voiced (justifiably so) my opinion about something that had happened to us all. It was met with a barge of disputing comments by someone I hardly knew but had foolishly added . I stupidly rose to the bate. I should have deleted the entire conversation but I did not, until the next day. I realised this was too late when I saw the whole conversation copy and pasted on a blog and personally commented on. I contacted the person, thought I had dealt with it, went through my facebook friends and deleted everyone I did not know well, and moved on. Live and learn.
Three months on, I had delivered over 500 boxes to hospitals, set up the charity in a new hospital, supported and chatted to many ladies, send hubby on a surprise holiday to Italy, helped both my class and my own children with their GCSE revision and AS revision, help organise a wedding and make hundreds of things for it, it's fair to say my mind is else where, I have moved on. Until today when I read again the incident on a blog. Oh deary me.
I am just glad for my business, for the charity, my job, my large and very busy family life, and for being able to have a wider perspective on life.
'Don't let the sun go down on your anger', because you never know what may happen. Life can disappear in the flash of an eye, in a second. Surely it's better to deal with our issues than to let them fester on or to have a lifetime of guilt?
Running a charity that involves daily hearing tragic tales of babyloss helps me to do this, and also to take the rest of my life, and insignificant things that may have otherwise upset me, into a much broader context.
Loosing a baby, sadly, as so many other have found, also helps you to do this. When you loose a baby, nothing else matters, nothing else is ever as bad. Other things that would have bothered or upset you simply don't. People who continue to moan and hold a grudge you simply avoid because they have no understanding of what intense pain you are feeling or just how trivial their issues really are in the wider scheme of things.
The children find this a bit harder. In the age of facebook (which we do not allow until 6th form), texting and multi media ways of arguing, it is so easy to 'carry on' , to continue to force your point of view or hurt others. It is a constant conversation we have about what is appropriate to write and say, and what simply isn't.
They read this blog, so the same principles need to apply to me as well.
Therefore, unlike some other blogs I have read, I choose to write about funny and amusing things that happen in our lives, or give some practical solutions that we have over time found helpful, rather than making myself appear something I am not, by taking the chance to belittle someone else or their opinions.
Likewise, on my own facebook, I am now very careful as well. At times I have been 'caught out' and someone may have made a judgemental comment that I feel I have to comment on. I have learnt now simply to ignore these now. A few months ago, I had an unfortunate incident where I voiced (justifiably so) my opinion about something that had happened to us all. It was met with a barge of disputing comments by someone I hardly knew but had foolishly added . I stupidly rose to the bate. I should have deleted the entire conversation but I did not, until the next day. I realised this was too late when I saw the whole conversation copy and pasted on a blog and personally commented on. I contacted the person, thought I had dealt with it, went through my facebook friends and deleted everyone I did not know well, and moved on. Live and learn.
Three months on, I had delivered over 500 boxes to hospitals, set up the charity in a new hospital, supported and chatted to many ladies, send hubby on a surprise holiday to Italy, helped both my class and my own children with their GCSE revision and AS revision, help organise a wedding and make hundreds of things for it, it's fair to say my mind is else where, I have moved on. Until today when I read again the incident on a blog. Oh deary me.
I am just glad for my business, for the charity, my job, my large and very busy family life, and for being able to have a wider perspective on life.
'Don't let the sun go down on your anger', because you never know what may happen. Life can disappear in the flash of an eye, in a second. Surely it's better to deal with our issues than to let them fester on or to have a lifetime of guilt?
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