Bootcamp blog update July 2012

After the wedding, and all the sickness it has been very hard to get back into any sort of routine.
The babies have been ill off and on, and so have I.
The children had so many after school/end of term activities as well that kept clashing with classes, and also all the classes took me out of the family at very important times of the day. This was okay to do for a limited amount of time , and I managed to achieve all the goals I had set, but I always knew both time wise, and finically it would not be sustainable long term, sadly. I am just not at that stage of life yet.
When the children are much older I will defiantly do more, as I can see the long term benefits.
As it is, I have been very careful to maintain a careful eating plan, not as severe as the one I have been following, but making sure if I have eaten carbs for breakfast and lunch that I avoid them at tea time.
I realised that carbs make me bloated and sadly I have put on about 3 or 4 lbs and an inch around my waist. I am not too worried, as I have been ill, and know I can loose this quite easily.
I am trying to at least get to 2 or three classes a week. Going back after nearly a months absence was depressing as I found I had to lift lighter weights and was far more exhausted after the fitness routines. I also ached so much the following days. As it's the holidays I can make the daytime ones which are in the morning and much less stressful for the family.
I will continue to update the bootcamp blog, from time to time.
I am not sure how I will look in a month after our summer holiday! Although I tend to relax and eat well, thankfully with a large family, lots of chasing about and walking and all the heat (hopefully) I usually loose weight!
More updates next month!

Getting ready for a huge trip: rule no 1 check all the children's passports!

Oh deary me!
We have made a VERY EXPENSIVE mistake.
Life was simple 15 years ago.
All the children were on our passports.
Easy! and cheap too!
Now the government in all their wisdom have realised they can milk us even more by imposing the regulation that each child needs a passport, every five years. This, I feel is utterly ridiculous, considering we have often taken new born babies abroad who bear no resemblance to the child facing passport control 4 years later!
As we have a very large family, the children's passports all expire at different times.
a few years ago we were nearly caught out, when in June Bella was laughing over the tea table about how she hated her passport photo taken when she was five. No, we said you must have been 7....and so the argument when on , until we found the passports and checked. She was right, and four of the children's had expired. We had to pay for the check and send service but the cost difference was not too much.
This year has been a disaster!
Last summer we knew that Mair and Jono's passports needed to be renewed and I put a reminder on my phone for Easter. This came and went with wedding preparations and we completely forgot, until Luke needed his passport to order a new pin number. Only then, too our utter horror we saw that their passports had expired in the beginning of July.
Jono was on school camp for the week, so we could do nothing. We booked photos as soon as he came back and filled in forms and then discovered due to passport office cuts and summer backlogs that the only way we could get these in time was to travel to Liverpool (our nearest office) and do the one day turnaround at a fairly exorbitant cost.
It gets worse.
The ONLY passport office in THE ENTIRE UK that had a vacancy before the second week in August (two weeks into our holiday) was BELFAST.Yes, that's Belfast in Ireland!!!!!
So, on Friday, instead of final packing and cleaning, Simon flies to Ireland.Up at 4am, Airport at 6am, flight at 7 am, land by 8.30 am, bus into belfast to Passport office by 9.30am. Hand in all information, and have four hours site seeing then collect passports and fly back home!
We have well and truly learnt our lesson.
All expiry dates are now in a file on my phone and on a list in our house and on my Filofax!

The Wedding - Part 3- the aftermath

So, what have we all been up too since the wedding?

The maid of honour, Emma had a birthday party for her little girl who was one of the flower girls and a week later gave birth in a matter of hours to a little boy, Archie! congratulations!

Anya and Caleb developed the meanest stomach and sickness bug I have ever seen which lasted over a week and we got absoulty no sleep, then we all came down with it for a further week.

Mair had her sports day at school and did rather well as you can see! (There are only 25 in the school!)

Susie had her dance show at the theatre and did a brilliant job!

Mair and Ella's little school closed after 137 years, which was just so sad.

Mair received the very last 'Star of the Week".

Abie graduated from Bangor University!

And Jono had his leavers service from his Primary School where he has been since he was three!

I have been ill for the last five weeks, and also started a new job a day after the wedding weekend.

I don't think I have ever felt quite so tired and exhausted, both mentally and physically from all the emotions of the last five weeks.

I am really looking forward to just getting away with my family now!

The Wedding- Part 2- The day

Anya enjoying picking up the petals around Abie's house!

Eventually I have got around to writing this. I purposely waited a week or so, as I would have written in far too much detail and bored you all senseless.

We had a marvellous day and everything went according to plan, well actually much better than we had all planned.

Abie making her entrance in her dress.

We woke up at 6 am! fairly unheard of in our home of late risers and late bedders. I was fairly tired as I had been up till 3 am finishing off everything and making sure we were ready for the day and evening ahead.

A quick champagne before we leave

The weather was quite dull and over cast but at least not tipping down with rain, and it was still, thankfully mild too.

The poor babies looked shocked that we were waking THEM as it's usually the other way round.

I was surprised how calm everyone was-maybe they were just too sleepy!

Abie's friend Keena (a make up artist for Dior) arrived at 8.30 am to do my makeup as I had absolutely no idea how to use the multitude of products I had bought! Everyone was fairly ready by then, and she was amazed that we were not all screaming at each other.

The hairdresser arrived at 9 am, and Keena said she could stay about half an hour and was there anything we needed doing! A pretty silly remark in our house! She ended up dressing babies and lacing bridesmaids dresses up!

Ready to get to the church

My hair was a work of art, and held togther by about a thousand pins incase the twins pulled it out! I was genuinly pleased at how I looked (after hours of careful work by others).I even managed to walk around in my outfit quite easily!

By some miracle we managed to be ready in time.

Our little flower girls; Ella (Abie's daughter), Mair (our daughter) and Darcey (Abie's pregnant maid of honour's daughter).

Our friend Lara (who had flown in from Switzerland) learnt fast how to find key points around our locality with her sat nav in a short period of time, as she was sent to the church with Luke and Jono (who were Ushers) and ten sets of flowers, and then to come to help us get everyone to the church on time.

Slightly wind blown bridesmaids.

At Abie's we had some photos taken by the photographer, as well as a final hair check and a nice drink.

Abie made her entrance in her stunning dress just before we left. It was the only point in the day I wanted to cry. I was terrified if I said a thing I would howl and wreck hours of careful work!

Anya was in her element crawling about and being cuddled, whereas Caleb was completely overwhelmed by everyone coming and going and cried.

Martha and Susie, my beautiful girls!

How we all arrived late, I will never know. I think we made it to the church on time, but it took ages to get everyone out of the cars as it started to rain. Also many of the neighbours had come so we all spent time talking to them as well!

It was meant to start at 11am, I think by the time the music announced Abie's arrival it was about 11.15am. It was wonderful to look around the church and see so many of our family and friends all together in the same place for a day! We had to too and fro a bit to get the babies settled as we were both reading and Simon was, naturally walking Abie down the aisle.

The wonderful Christine with Anya.

As you can see, thankfully Anya was shattered from her early start and fell aslepp on my dearest friend Christine, so we only had to contain Caleb, which was a blessing!

Abie had decided the bridesmaids would walk down the aisle before her and then the little flower girls and finally herself and Simon.

I felt so much pride as a mother to watch all my beautiful children do so well. The boys made such excellent Ushers (they had to do the entire thing by themselves) and all the girls were fantastic as bridesmaids, and looked stunning.

It was such a strange feeling to watch my first born walk down the aisle to Canon in D by Pachelbel, which is the exact piece of music I walked had 26 years ago.

Ella, Mair and Jono

The Wedding Service was lovely. I read 1 Corinthians and Simon (and Caleb) did the New Testament reading from Matthew. Our friend and pastor, Barry did the address, and Glenn's mother and I were the witnesses for the marriage certificate.

The Vicars face was a picture, as Abie and Glenn walked down the aisle to  Bruno Mars " I think I want to marry you'. We had 'accidentally' not mentioned this particular piece of music to her!

Lara and Jo (20 years on from when they came to Prague with us!)

After the service, for us was a bit mad, as we were juggling twins and children, photos and also having to pack up everything we had in the church as the vicar wanted to lock up!!! Thankfully so many of our friends offered to help get church stands, flower displays, pew ends and everything else and help us get these to the afternoon venue.

Amazingly we even managed to get a few photos taken and talk to some of our guests!

My handsome boys!

The rain held off for us to get the offical photos taken and then gradually people started to leave and make their way to the reception.

Abie and Glen went off with the photographer for some more 'scenic' photos, so we knew we had a bit of time. Fatal mistake! We went home to collect all the things we had not had time to pack earlier, as we were all staying the night. The babies needed a nappy change, Mair and Ella wanted feeding...  and before we knew it nearly an hour had passed.

Jono helping Abie get her dress off the mud!

By the time we got to the wedding reception, not only had all the guests arrived, but Abie and Glenn had as well! The sun was out (a little) and the manager of the hotel greeted us with a drink and lots of help (he was fantatic throughout the day).

Lesson no 2 for the next time.

Do not rely on the bride to remember the photo list.

Again we were so busy unpacking the car, dealing with children, trying to talk to guests and setting up laptops and speakers for speeches that we nearly missed the important photos. Worse still, we missed all the ones we wanted taken with our friends and relatives, so we have very few.

As Simon pointed out , 'next time' we won't be contending with twin babies as well as being the parents of the bride!

My beautiful boyo and my amazing hairdo!

All too soon it was time to meet and greet everyone and to sit down for the reception. We had 'planned' to put the babies to bed but were running late, so had to keep them up, in high chairs at the end of the table. They were brilliant and kept entertained by everyone. They looked like a little bride and groom i their suits and white dresses! They clapped and cheered and ate everyones meals.

Mair, carried by Susie because her ballet shoes had got wet!

The meal was delicious, with Melon and ice cream to start, chicken in a sauce with lots of vegtables, and potatoes of every kind and then either cheesecake or chocolate cake to complete the courses. There was so much, and the portions so large I struggled to eat everything after being on such a strict diet!

Simon and Anya

It was then time for the speeches. I had no idea what simon was about to say, but he asked me to stand with him and say a few words. I had wanted to remember both my mother (who sadly passed away 18 months ago, but who had so been looking forward to this day) and Joshua, at this point, but I just could not as I felt too over whelmed. Simon, in his speech decided to show the new couple how to 'kiss' and promptly demonstrated on me! All my teenagers were shocked and sounds of 'ew Dad' resounded across the room. They later claimed to be 'traumatised' I think not!

All the bridesmaids

Sion's speech was witty, reflectful and poinient and I felt excellent. glen, who had been dreading his, did really well as did the two best men who put together a hillarous power point of Glenn.

We had planned after the reception in the afternoon to have a couple of hours spare before the evening, in the end we had no time at all.

Bella stuffing a sneaky Mc Donalds!

The babies, by this time had, had enough and needed to eat their tea as it was 7pm. We decided to feed them in the double bugy and then get them to bed. Unfortunatly our room was not ready so we ended up juggingly saying goodbye to some guests, hello to others and feeding them in the reception area (a first in 18 years for the owner as he later informed us!)

Waiting for the 'official' photos

By the time we had the rooms sorted and travel cots unpacked and babies ready it was 9pm, and Abie was waiting for us to have her first dance. Sadly we had to miss this, to get the babies to sleep. By the time we managed to get to the evening reception it was around 9.45pm and some people were starting to leave. We had a chance to talk to Simon's twin sister and her family then before they left as well as some close friends. It was difficult to talk over loud music!

Pretty gusty

Abie and Glenn had a lovely evening as many of their personal freinds came for the 'do' so it was more of their age group. We 'oldies' stuck together with our smaller children who we gradully put to bed. Finally, at 1 pm it ended and we crawled into bed. I don't think i have felt such over whleming tiredness and such a very wide range of emotions in a long time!

My eldest and me!

Naturally the babies woke up! Thankfully only once.

The next morning was spent getting everyone dressed and packed and then a lovely breakfast with all the people who had decided, like us to stay over and a good chat to them in the beautiful and now sunny hotel surroundings.

Six of my seven gorgeous girls.

Sadly we had to eventually leave, as Luke had an exam the next day and everyone had to get ready for school. We came home, unpacked what we could and all collapsed i the garden in the sunshine to reflect on the day with Lara, before her flight home.

My best school friend Irene, we have known each other 42 years!

Abie, Glen and Ella arrived later in the day with bits and bobs and ready for a chat and a look at the photos Lara had taken (all the ones you see here). It was so strange that it had taken so long to prepare, and so much time and effort had gone into it all, and now it was over.

Not an everyday wedding picture- Mother of the Bride pushing a double buggy!!!

I must admit, by the day before I was REALLY fed up of waking up each morning with Wedding plans, however afterwards I felt such an anti climax that I cannot wait to do it all over again, potientially 9 times!!!

The evening disco

Considering, it was the first of our children to get married, and we did so much of it ourselves, I feel we did pretty dam well. Yes there are regrets and things we could have done better, but we will refine this the next time. By the time we reach Anya and Caleb's weddings we will be a fine oiled wheel of wedding organisational skills and expertise!

Simon and I with the Bride and Groom

I will cherish the day, the memories and all the photos for the rest of my life.

It was well worth all the money, hard work, effort and time, to see my daughter's and everyone else's enjoyment of the day was priceless.

The cupcake, Wedding Cake.

I hope you have enjoyed a little glance at a portion of our day too.

Simon's speech.

The absolutely stunning 'official' photo's.

The offical photographer took Abie and Glenn to a local beach to acheve these amazing shots of them.

Abie

Flower girls and Usher

What a poser!

The church

Getting ready

Why we have turned down another media request, and will continue to do so!

Over the last few years, media attention towards larger families seems to have increased.

I am not sure why.

Maybe it is simply because people are choosing, for one reason or another, to have smaller families.

Perhaps it is due to the advent of the few reality TV shows that have sprung up viewing what it is like to be part of such a large brood.

Whatever the reason, we have inadvertently been asked to appear on TV, in magazines and in the news.

Whilst I have no problem at all in features about the charity we run and all the good it, and other small charities do, I feel very uncomfortable having anything filmed or written about my children.

Very recently we were again asked to appear on a TV documentary.

It sounded a little less invasive than the others.

Again, I discussed it with the family.

Some of the children thought it would be good fun, but most did not.

We weighted it up again.

What were we doing it for?

Would we achieve anything good from appearing?

How would the final cut look, would there be a slant? would we have any say in what was shown or not shown.

Would we actually change anyone's perception of larger families by appearing.

Reading all the hundreds of negative comments, some extremely nasty, bigoted, and downright agogant, that appear under newspaper articles about larger families, or TV programmes about them, makes me see that by doing these things, by appearing, nothing changes.

I am quite (well, very stubborn) I blame it on the Scottish genes! My husband and children are as well.

Being stubborn, when I have an opinion , it takes quite a bit for that to be changed, if at all. Certainly watching a TV programme does not often alter what I think or feel, unless it is very well presented and researched.

I am sure the people writing these comments hold the same strong beliefs, rightly or wrongly.

I have written a long article before, after the programme '15 kids and counting' was aired and then picked to pieces by Matthew Wright, who held some very antiquated and rather poorly researched views.

They tend to follow the same theme:

• We are a drain on the environment
• We should not be allowed such large families
• Our carbon footprint is too large and damaging
• We are on every benefit offered
• We do not work
• How can we possibly look after them all
• Waste of tax payers money

and so on and so forth...........

Thankfully, unlike a lot of other larger families, we seem to have escaped relatively easily. People have never been rude to our faces, infact, if anything they have been quite the opposite and we always receive compliments about how well behaved they are. Yes, we have had the usual, tongue in cheek comments " do you have a TV"?, 'are you Catholic'? .... but they have all been quite lighthearted.The only time I have ever felt any hostility was when I went in to the hospital to have the twins.I sensed a few of the staff thought some of the above about me, until they found out we both worked, and met the children and realised I run a charity in the hospital, then they became much warmer.

I know others have no got off so lightly and have had some very blunt remarks said to their faces., which is totally unnecessary and also , uncalled for.

Whatever strong opinions we hold about someone, whether based on personal experiences or just stereotypes or prejudices, it is not fair to then feel we have the right to voice these, very publicly to the people concerned.

I have digressed a little.

Getting back to the media.

I remember when then press turned against Princess Diana. She had courted them largely to her own ends, then did not like it when they followed her everywhere and made her life and everything in it more public than she had ever wished.

Likewise, sadly the same experience was aired on the '15 kids and counting show' where one of the mothers had had a lot of publicity over the years, and now, when something very personal and private happened, the press got hold of it and felt it their right to publish this.

The trouble with the media is, that , if we open ourselves up to being interviewed and filmed for whatever reasons, it will cause a reaction. Sadly in the case of larger families, a more negative than positive one.

If we chose to go down this route, we chose the comments we know will undoubtedly accompany this, rightly or wrongly.

At the end of the day, what will we gain?

I did not have a large family to exhibit them , for someone else's pleasure or voyeurism, or to have people say 'well done you' for doing such a great job. I thought long and hard for years before writing a blog about us all, and if truth be told, still struggle with the public side to this, I am not sure how long I will continue to keep it 'open'.

We live quietly, and try wherever possible to not draw attention to our family size. I know we have done a good job, I don't need a newspaper to make a headline from it, I know we have made the right and appropriate choices for our family, and for us, TV and the media is not one of those.

I didn't do it, the magic fairy and the crystal ball!

It's the school holidays.
You can tell by the increasing comments and mess in my house.
Things get broken faster.
Things get lost quicker.
Things get left around in abundance.
When I was a child this was impossible to escape from.
There were two of us in the house, my mother and me. She was pedantically tidy, so that left me, there was no escape and no way I could blame shift (although as a three year old I had an imaginary friend called Nona who was the naughty one!).
These are the common phrases I hear.
'I didn't do it'. This is often when something is broken. It's so easy in my family, not too tell the truth because there are so many people they can hide behind. We try so hard to instil honesty, some are great and own up, some do at times depending on the severity of the crime, others will only admit to this if threatened with every punishment i can think of!
'The Magic Fairy'. She's the mystery person who every night, very very late, goes around the house, picks up mugs, papers, plates, and an assortment of crap and lays it away and washed it, i.e. me! My children appear in the holidays to think they can just bung things in the sink and by some miracle it will be washed- this is a training work in progress.
'The Crystal ball'. This concept is both common at work , with the kids I teach, who seem to think I can tell by there handwriting alone who has composed one of the 30 pieces of homework handed in without a name! At home, it is the fact my children think I clearly have a 6th sense that tells me exactly what they have run out of and what I need to buy from the shops without them writing it down or texting me! Better still is the teenage tendency to place empty packets back in the cupboards because it is infinitely easier to do so than to walk to a bin! Cereals and sanitary towel packs are the two most common of these!
Children are just that, children. When they are teenagers they appear to loose monetary a lot of what was instilled into them.Thankfully , as I know it does return, it's just a work in progress and the summer holidays increase this a hundred fold!

Beavan road trip 2012...why we are definatly not taking a 'staycation'!

Packing the car in France last year on the first leg of the trip.

Much has been written recently about the 'Joys' of the 'staycation' i.e. staying at home for the holidays instead of travelling abroad.

We try, wherever possible, to take the children abroad each summer.

This does not cost as much as you may think, and ironically it is cheaper (sometimes by half!) for us to put our 12 man tent up in France as it is here, in the UK.

Now run that one by me......

A wet rainy field in the UK is twice as expensive as a lovely hot campsite with a swimming pool  in France.

Yes, actually.

Hmmm, now where I am going to choose?

I would hazard a guess that if you gave the average family in the UK £2,000 and asked where they were going on holiday, they would say over seas! After the dreadful summer we have endured so far, I do not blame them!

Prague 2004-This verses.....  

North Wales Summer 2012.........or this!

So there's the stark comparison.

Call me unpatriotic if you wish, but we are off to the continent again, as fortunately we have the choice!

We always drive now, since the days of budget airlines (where we paid £30 each for the children to fly to Prague!!!) are well and truly over.

Petrol is cheaper in Europe, I can really bore you and tell you exactly where too (we have it all marked on our faithful map).

We used to drive through the night and sleep in the car, but age has caught up with us now , so we pay to stay in the budget hotels that have thankfully sprung up for overnight travellers. Glamourous they are not, but they serve the purpose and give us some rest.

Having lots of friends across Europe helps as well. Last summer we broke up our journey by staying with friends in Germany and Switzerland, which was great, and wonderful to catch up with them all again.

Having lived and worked in Prague for five years we took the opportunity to travel everywhere. Thus, we have built up a wealth of places to stay with a larger than average family size that do not cost the earth! In fact some are still amazingly cheap. Thankfully!

The last hot summer 2003, ironically the year I was expecting Joshua .

The last really hot summer we had, was nine years ago. The year I was sadly expecting Joshua. I tried to enjoy it for the children's sake, but it was hard, knowing what we were all about to face. The children had a wonderful time at home. They played in the garden, made dens and carts, went in the swimming pool and made up endless games, went on picnics everywhere, to the beach and parks, up in the mountains and on cycle rides and had a wonderful time. We live in an amazingly beautiful place, and when we have good weather there is so much to do.

When...........

When we stayed at home 4 years ago, it rained, and rained ALL summer.

I consider myself a creative person, but by the end of six weeks I was loosing the will to live, as where the children. I taught them to paint on silk, to make pots out of clay and basic Calligraphy. Each year we have a summer project where I try and instil a new skill. As they have got older the groans have got louder, sometimes, depending on what this is!

We went out to as many indoor things as we could.

We ended up spending quite a bit of money, as not everything is free!

We all had a good summer, but it wasn't exactly a summer break.

Assisi, Italy, summer 2011

As the children have got older we have realised how much we need a break where we can take them away each year. Their lives are incredibly full with school, activities and friends and often we find we need to go away to all 'touch base' again with each other, where there are no distractions and we can really spend quality time with each other on a daily basis without the hassles of everyday life and all it involves.

I am also aware as each year passes, another child is no longer present in the holiday photos. I am sure, if we paid for them, they would all come along, and now and again we have managed to do so, but as their own families start to grow, I know this will be harder to do. We have some close friends who had six children, they now have 33 grandchildren! Every few years they all hire a beach house and come from all over America to stay, together for a week. This is what I hope we will eventually do!

So I want to take the children away to enjoy what time we have left with them. Susie is coming this year for half the holiday, and flying back to work for the rest as she cannot take so much time off. Luke and Bella have just two years until University and I am not sure they will want to come away then, and may well be doing other things, Martha has four years. It sounds a lot, but I know how fast time passes.

So for us, it is essential now that we go away.

Other things go on hold.

We have been without an oven for 7 months! It is amazing what you can cook with four gas rings when you need to!

We also work extra jobs.

This year I have not managed to do my examining work, as we had Abie's wedding during the period I am most needed and I knew it would be impossible to do anything. Simon has continued to lecture one evening.

For us, it is worth the costs, which as I said we keep as minimal as possible.

I will begin to write more as we start to prepare for this holiday in case you are wondering what it's like to get ready and any hints and tips I may have.