Only child syndrome amongst 11.....

The 'baby' and the teenagers.

I am very aware as time moves on, the age gap between Mair and the other children. She is no 9 in a very large family, yet too all intensive purposes at the weekends she is like an only child.

The older children are busy with dancing, jobs and homework or social events, the babies are in their own little routine and world, which leaves her often on her own.

It makes me sad that her only entertainment is often her Daddy and me. We take her out, run about the park, build sand castles with her, paint her nails, face paint and dress her up and play endless games.

It makes me sad because the rest of the children all had each other, in particular the girls.

The first little group were Abie, Miriam and Susie, who will probably kill me for writing this, but played endless games of 'schools', 'friends' and just about everything else. The dressed each other up and were each others entertainment. When Abie became too old for such childish things Miriam and Susie enlisted Bella and the Martha into their games. When Miriam grew too old, it then became Susie, Bella and Martha.

The girls sense it too. Martha will often take Mair into their room and paint her nails or do 'girly' things with her because she feels sorry Mair is missing out of such a significant part of their lives. When they meet together for meals they all share joint tales of the games and adventures they got up too as small children.

I am sure Mair does not feel this. She is fully occupied, has endless attention from us all, and is taken out often on her own or with the babies. It is lovely to see Annie now growing up and wanting to play with her. I hope they will become the best of friends and have some happy times together before Mair sees herself too old. I am grateful too that the twins have each other, they will always have a little playmate.

Sometimes it make me sad to think there should have been another little girl there, just a year older than Mair, and a little boy 18 months older still. There should have been the next 'batch' of little ones, instead we have this time, large gaps and a heartache where our lost children should be. The large gaps make the loss more noticeable.

The I remind myself of how fortunate Mair really is. I was an only child, who dreamed of having older siblings of any age to give me the time and attention I craved. Mair always has people around her, who are willing to play games, to help her, to talk to her and to be there for her. She may in my mind be a little more isolated, but she is still a very blessed and fortunate little girl!