This is how long I have left at work! before my students leave, and as a part time lecturer, hourly paid, my contract ends.
18 WEEKS!
I loathe returning to work this time. No matter how many times I try and rationalise things, I still feel upset.
I have never felt quite so reluctant before and I am unsure why.
I love my job, and the students I have in the current cohort are fantastic girls. I enjoy teaching Children's Learning and Development, and of course have many funny real life stories and anecdotes to liven up my lessons. Perhaps some of my hesitation is because my temporary replacement could not have made more of a hash of a very straightforward course if he had tried! which clearly he had not!
Maybe it is because I have had the twins and I am very aware of what an absolute surprise, joy and blessing they have been to us. I want to enjoy every moment of their own development knowing this could well be the final time I will see each precious stage.
Or perhaps, after my mother died, and I had to slow down as I was pregnant, I realised I had been too busy, far too busy. I have many regrets. I do not want to feel this guilty or busy again.
It has made me change my whole perspective and I no longer am returning to work with anything like the hours I had before. I am trying hard to set up some work from home to enable me to still bring in an income, as without this we cannot make ends meet. This is our choice , as we have a large family, so I just have to find new and creative ways.
In many respects I am grateful for this 'eureka' experience and excited to see what the next year will bring.
Until then, I return, one day a week, to my lecturing job, and the twins will go to a childminder. It has taken me all day to organise their things as well as my work!
Let's hope we all settle down in our new routines tomorrow.
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