The twins are still ill, still up most of the night and still wingey. Carted them to the Dr (1.5hr trip) and have antibiotics. Please God let this work!
The rest of the day I have sat with a backlog list of things to do.
You see I run a charity.
A small charity.
We don't have people on the streets collecting.
We don't have an office.
We don't have any staff.
We don't have any outlays other than the things we need.
Every penny goes towards what we give out ....... free!
Amazingly in 8 years we have never been over drawn.
I started the charity 8 years ago. Our first boxes were delivered to Glan Clwyd Hospital in Boddlewyddan and they helped to pilot this charity. along with all the mothers who provided me with feedback.
It was A LOT of very hard work, and it still is, as I run in by myself.
I do have people that can help but often by the time I have contacted them, taken things round or explained what needs done, it is quicker to do it myself.
I started the charity because my 8th son Joshua died after 4 days from Hypo plastic Left Heart Syndrome. We were fortunate, we had Joshua's condition antenatally diagnosed at 20 weeks. This have us time to get our heads around the fact I was carrying a very sick little baby and that he could die ver soon after birth.
We were able to prepare, and because of this we have over 300 pictures of those precious four days with our son. We took all our children and camped out in the hospital. They were all with him when he died, and we dressed him, and took him home.
We had five more days with him at home away from the hospital, the nurses, the intervention, the fuss, the decisions.
Time to come to terms.
Time to spend with our son.
Time we would never have again.
Time that so many others do not have.
After Joshua died I continued to write my blog. The link s on this blog page but the website server is down at the moment. From writing I got about 1,000 hits and messages from others who had lost their babies, each with their own very sad story of what they wished had happened.
This got me thinking.
I had worked in a hospital before as a counsellor so I knew how busy they were.
That's when I thought of a box, filled with the things a newly bereaved mum may need or want.
I posted on tons of bereavement sites 'what would you have wanted when your baby died?" and from this devised all the items in our boxes.
They have been very successful over the years which is good, as we have helped thousands of ladies who would not have had this support, sad in the respect that means thousands of babies have died.
Running a charity is not very different to running a business.
I went into it green and naive.
How wrong was I?
Someone wanted to help when I first set the charity up, then tried to steal the idea and get to the charity commission first to register it as their idea.
A larger charity offered me support and help.........5 years on I find they are providing their own boxes, which bear a striking resemblance to my boxes initially, or rather the three I sent them! They also asked to provide their boxes in hospitals I deliver too as well!
Many, many others have over the years taken our idea and developed it in their areas.
I am pleased about this, as many more parents have been helped, I could not, and chose not to take this charity further. We had offers of help and lots of money but first and foremost I had my family to consider and I know running a large charity would take me away from the people I want to be with the most. I just wish, that on their websites they would acknowledge it was my idea, set up in memory of Joshua that's all.
I generally have an on going 'to do' list, that I just add to and delete from as and when I get another task done. Somedays go well, others are frustratingly annoying to say the least.
Whenever I loose sight of what I am doing, and why I get another email like the one I received below, this weekend. I hope the person concerned won't mind me sharing it.
'Hi there, yesterday 28th January 2011 at 13.56pm i delivered my son . i was 7months with a very healthy pregnancy. Sadly my son was too good for this world and the angels decided to take him to another place. I had him at whiston hospital where they made every moment so perfect for meeting my beautiful son. I have come home with one of your beautiful memory boxes for my son which hold some very dear things to me. This box is my life long memory of my _______and i cant thank you enough for what you are doing. I never thought i would be one of those mums who would have to grieve for their child but you have made it much easier for me to remember him. I have never heard of this charity and to be honest never done much for charity either, but i have never experienced anything like this either. I would really like to do something to help you to help other mummies like me. You are a very special charity that will
now be on my heart forever. please let me know what i can do. so many thanks. Love '. xxxx
That's what makes running a charity worthwhile.
x
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