'People of this age often loose their parents. This can be hard as it brings home the idea that they are now the older generation in their family'.
That's it!
Since my mum died I have increasingly felt this sense of responsibility I didn't have before. The buck now stops with me.I am totally responsible for everyone's wellbeing. Before they could go to my mum for advice and support as well.
So could I.
Now I am it.
There's no one else.
This little sentence in my course book summed up the enormity of all I have felt.
Do I feel any better?
Let's wait and see. At least I feel I can understand a bit more.
I still miss my mum. I doubt if that will change much.
I miss going to her for advice. To check things out. To have someone else who loves the children as much as we do offer her support, and if I am honest, to moan. After all , she was my mum!
I somehow feel much older (not good) and not much wiser either!
I need to learn to accept and grow into my new role, without her there.
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