I have loads of them this week.
It's half term and the children are off, we were very busy, out much of the time and did plenty of baking.
I had the twins sickness bug.
I was on my period.
I was also very tired and up much of each night.
The combination of all these factors lead to my demise it's fair to say.
Embarrassing after winning the prize for best boot camper, one feels one has an image to maintain.
So what went wrong.
Period =chocolate craving! big time, and in fact anything sugary and crap filled. I bought myself a huge bar of fruit and nut chocolate. I mischievously hid in the loo with two large slabs and my book (the only place of peace and solitude in half term). I bit into it, and gobbled it down. Then too my horror I felt violently sick. It was too rich! The rest of the bar remains in the cupboard, until my kids read this blog and go and finish it off that is. They will be doing me a favour!
Sadly the same cannot be said of the chocolate crispy cakes we made.
They were huge and filled the lovely muffin cases and looked so appealing.....I decided just to try a little bit of one. Yum. Managed to walk out of the kitchen. Well you know the scenario. Came back into the kitchen, convinced myself another little nibble wouldn't hurt. Low and behold by the end of the day I had polished off two. I was disgusted at my lack of self control.
Then a godsend (well on the diet front at least ) I caught the twins awful sickness bug. For two days this rendered me incapable of eating anything. The only thing I could in fact bear was cups of tea with a little sugar.
I could not resist weighing myself.
I had lost 2 lbs.
Woo hoo. Worth feeling dreadful for.
My joy was short lived.
The bug lasted all week.
I could eat but only carbs, so I stuck to dry bagels, crisps and porridge and toast. Protein filled meals made me heave at the smell.
I did not over eat, however I have realised that any grains at all are not good for me. I pilled on the weight. Deep depression.
We then had a few days out. As I felt so sick every time I looked at protein I could not face the usual salads I take.
I resorted to either starving myself or just having a coffee and a bag of crisps, even though I knew this was not a good way to eat.
My already screwed up metabolism got even more screwed.
I have also realised that the later I stay up the hungrier I become so late nights with the kids who were snacking were hard. I was up most of each night with puking, and pooing babies which again meant I was exhausted, could not be bothered to cook my special meals and resorted to toast or a bagel as they were easy and at hand.
It would be so much easier if I had a personal chef who would just cook me all these lovely low cal protein meals. Being a celebrity has it's advantages after all!!!
Well, back to reality.
Having now weighed myself and beat myself around the bush for not just not loosing any weight but actually putting it on, I am back on the wagon.
I only managed three excercise sessions last week as we were out and about. I have to so five to see much impact here as well.
I stayed up late cooking so I now have the right foods prepared and on hand now and I am ready to start again.
I now only have three and half months till Abigail gets married so each week has to count.
Because of last week I also have to work much harder to catch up. I cannot afford to gain 3lbs instead of loosing two. All that hard work and I am now 5lbs down where I should be.
The good thing is that I have again realised my bad eating habits and what affects them the most.
I must be a lot more aware of these in future months and years and prepare better for them.
I am disappointed, but not disheartened. Although I have gained 3lbs I have lost 1/4 inch from my waist and hips and not actually put any inches back on, so it's not all bad news.
I will not give up that easily having come so far!!
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