Loving and letting go......it's never easy when your a Mum!

Bella in her cadet Uniform.

Letting go!
A life time of letting go's at every age and stage of our children's development.
It is never, ever easy.
Is it?
Or am I just the only slightly over protective mother out there?
I don't think so.
I guess in any child's life, sooner or later we all have to 'let go'.
For some people this may happen sooner than they want, and they have to go back to work, and entrust their beautiful babies to day care, a childminder or a family friend.
For others it's saying goodbye and letting a toddler go to Nursery School.
For others still it's walking your child to school, on the first day.
It maybe letting them go to their first camp with cubs or brownies.
Or their first sleep over with friends.
It maybe a first holiday with someone else's parents, or their first holiday with their own friends.
It could be University, a boyfriend, marriage even or your baby having their own baby.
There are so many letting go's.
So many decisions to weigh up.
So many different parenting styles and views about what is appropriate and when.
Our children may all be very different, letting go then occurs at different stages for each one.

We have a new 'Letting go' to deal with.
Bella belongs to the Army Cadets.
She loves this, and has done very well, and is now a Lance Corporal.
She is well regarded and has been chosen to represent the UK as part of a small team going to Canada, YES CANADA ALL SUMMER! She is the second reserve.
Not just for a couple of weeks, we are talking like about 8 or 9 weeks, I haven't even worked it out yet.
It is a marvellous opportunity. She will stay on Army Bases and work there, they get a two week holiday in Ottawa at the end as well. Best of all, apart from the air fare, it's all paid for too!
Wow!

At first she came home thrilled.
Then the reality set in. She would miss her last local army camp, as well as her family holiday.
She would have to leave school nearly 3 weeks early (this is her final year, she is moving to her brother and sister's school to sit her A levels).
She would miss 2 months of the twins lives.
And come back 2 days before hers and Lukes 16th Birthdays and 5 days before she has to re start school.

She asked me what I thought.
Lord!
I have had to think long and hard.
I have done a lot of soul searching.
You see, I really REALLY wanted to say no. I didn't want her to go. She's only 15, I don't want my family split up even smaller for our family holiday this year (Susie at 18 is going away with friends).
I didn't want to not see her for a whole 2 months or more. I could not conceive her being that far away from home, and did not really think I could trust anyone to care for her as we do.
Then I caught myself.
Are these reasons really in Bella's best interests or am I just being selfish?
Hmmmmm.
She is a bright, intelligent and possibly the most sensible child we have created.
She works hard, we have never  ever had a 'bad' parents night with her, and she has rarely if ever had to be reprimanded.
In fact, if you had an only child and it was Bella, you would think this parenting thing was a walk in the park really.

So, I said 'yes' she could go, and we would support her. I smiled. Albeit through gritted teeth!
Because, at the end of the day, my own reasons were just that. Selfish.
She would have agreed to not go, because that is the kind of girl she is. But that would not have been in her best interests.
It is an amazing experience and one she will remember for the rest of her life. She will grow and change, and I am sure I will find that hard on her return. But that is how it should be.

For all the toughness , letting go, is one of the most important things we can do for our children. If we hold on, unnecessarily they will miss out on so much, and in the end , resent us.

If two people drop out, Bella will be off, and this blog will be filled with the ramblings of a panic stricken mum!

Watch this space!

Bella and Mair in their Ballet show.