Wednesday morning.
For the first time in three weeks I did not rush to switch on the internet, scan the mum's sites nor do any google searches.
Why you may ask?
Because the programme '15 kids and counting is over'.
I for one am glad.
I know many others are too.
We were not featured (I have already said why in a previous post) however, more attention was unnecessarily drawn to us, because of it.
When you have a lot of kids, and a huge big black van , you do happen to cause a stir a few times anyway! I try wherever possible to minimise this. We all do, and find it really embarrassing.
Maybe this stems from living in Prague, where the average family size is one! We had six, 5 of whom were quite close in age. We also had a quad buggy for 4 of them. Having been systemically followed and photographed by endless parties of Japanese tourists you do get a bit fed up when one of the kids says 'Mummmmmmmmmmm someones staring at us'. We developed the family stare in extreme cases. This involved counting 'one, two three' then in complete synchronisation all turning and staring at the offending person. It works!
Anyway I digress.
I have written already at how upset I was at 'The Wright Stuff' and Steve Wrights comments after the first programme was aired. Interestingly, I emailed this to them and have not yet had any response.
Things did seem to calm down a bit after the second one was aired and again after the third, but both myself and my husband, my eldest daughter and some of my other children continued to hear many conversations about the programme, and the families concerned. Some of it nice, a lot not so nice. The conversations then digressed to large families in general, to which everyone seems to have an opinion.
We have never personally have never had anyone be rude to our face, only complimentary thankfully. I did find however the comments I read and the articles uncomfortable reading, especially as many were then thrown at 'large families in general'. Maybe I should not have read them, but there was a part of me that wanted to know what Joe Public REALLY thought of us.
I did feel for all the families concerned,that there had to be a certain 'slant' for each one, in order to make for good viewing. I do feel they managed to get a good mix of families and covered a wide range of issues however I would have liked to have seen more footage of the mothers who worked as well as ran the family.
I am not convinced it will really change long term peoples perceptions of large families. I am sure short term it at least changed a few peoples ideas of us, if nothing else to show we work very hard and are not all on benefits as the media love to portray.
The producer of the programme, replied swiftly to my email the other week. It is perhaps interesting that she said another programme will probably not be made as she doubted they would find another 9 or so large families willing to take part. Months ago, she had placed an advert on one of the larger mums sites I drop in on and no one there had wanted their family filmed.
I am relieved.
Like many families, the notion of programmes involving children being filmed I find uncomfortable. I know in America these are popular, but I don't agree with them at all. I do find it strange these families homeschool one of the reasons being that their children are kept away from more worldly influences and often don't watch much TV. Fair enough. So why on the other hand do they seemingly not have a problem or issue with inviting the TV and media into their homes. Perhaps I am being unfairly judgemental. I find the concept that because we have a large family that makes us worthy of TV, and the notion we must all be busier than anyone else or some sort of super mum who has all the answers uneasy. I certainly don't! I just have probably a few more tricks up my sleeves having been there a bit more.
As poor Jo Watson found out in the programme, the trouble with courting the media at any stage in your life, then means they feel they own you and have the right to follow up things later on you would rather have been kept private.
I remember clearly watching a programme a few months ago about the lovely Walton Sextuplets and their extremely grounded parents. At the time, because of the fuss surrounding their births and the enormous expense of suddenly having 6 little girls, they let the press and media in the follow the girls growing up. Now in their 20's, one of them was very adamant how much she had hated this, and as a teenager, she refused for many years to take part. Their parents also said, had they had the time over they would not have been filmed. When we were offered the chance to appear on this programme , this thought had stuck in my mind, that I was making a decision that some of my children did not really understand and may resent me for making later on.
Anyway, it has most certainly caused three weeks of some quite heated debates.
I think what I have learnt the most, having been placed in a spotlight slightly as a larger family, is how much I will really try to not judge the people I see on other documentaries and programmes. I, like everyone am the first to watch such things and condone, as we all do from time to time without actually wondering how much has been edited and manipulated for 'good TV'.
For the first time in three weeks I did not rush to switch on the internet, scan the mum's sites nor do any google searches.
Why you may ask?
Because the programme '15 kids and counting is over'.
I for one am glad.
I know many others are too.
We were not featured (I have already said why in a previous post) however, more attention was unnecessarily drawn to us, because of it.
When you have a lot of kids, and a huge big black van , you do happen to cause a stir a few times anyway! I try wherever possible to minimise this. We all do, and find it really embarrassing.
Maybe this stems from living in Prague, where the average family size is one! We had six, 5 of whom were quite close in age. We also had a quad buggy for 4 of them. Having been systemically followed and photographed by endless parties of Japanese tourists you do get a bit fed up when one of the kids says 'Mummmmmmmmmmm someones staring at us'. We developed the family stare in extreme cases. This involved counting 'one, two three' then in complete synchronisation all turning and staring at the offending person. It works!
Anyway I digress.
I have written already at how upset I was at 'The Wright Stuff' and Steve Wrights comments after the first programme was aired. Interestingly, I emailed this to them and have not yet had any response.
Things did seem to calm down a bit after the second one was aired and again after the third, but both myself and my husband, my eldest daughter and some of my other children continued to hear many conversations about the programme, and the families concerned. Some of it nice, a lot not so nice. The conversations then digressed to large families in general, to which everyone seems to have an opinion.
We have never personally have never had anyone be rude to our face, only complimentary thankfully. I did find however the comments I read and the articles uncomfortable reading, especially as many were then thrown at 'large families in general'. Maybe I should not have read them, but there was a part of me that wanted to know what Joe Public REALLY thought of us.
I did feel for all the families concerned,that there had to be a certain 'slant' for each one, in order to make for good viewing. I do feel they managed to get a good mix of families and covered a wide range of issues however I would have liked to have seen more footage of the mothers who worked as well as ran the family.
I am not convinced it will really change long term peoples perceptions of large families. I am sure short term it at least changed a few peoples ideas of us, if nothing else to show we work very hard and are not all on benefits as the media love to portray.
The producer of the programme, replied swiftly to my email the other week. It is perhaps interesting that she said another programme will probably not be made as she doubted they would find another 9 or so large families willing to take part. Months ago, she had placed an advert on one of the larger mums sites I drop in on and no one there had wanted their family filmed.
I am relieved.
Like many families, the notion of programmes involving children being filmed I find uncomfortable. I know in America these are popular, but I don't agree with them at all. I do find it strange these families homeschool one of the reasons being that their children are kept away from more worldly influences and often don't watch much TV. Fair enough. So why on the other hand do they seemingly not have a problem or issue with inviting the TV and media into their homes. Perhaps I am being unfairly judgemental. I find the concept that because we have a large family that makes us worthy of TV, and the notion we must all be busier than anyone else or some sort of super mum who has all the answers uneasy. I certainly don't! I just have probably a few more tricks up my sleeves having been there a bit more.
As poor Jo Watson found out in the programme, the trouble with courting the media at any stage in your life, then means they feel they own you and have the right to follow up things later on you would rather have been kept private.
I remember clearly watching a programme a few months ago about the lovely Walton Sextuplets and their extremely grounded parents. At the time, because of the fuss surrounding their births and the enormous expense of suddenly having 6 little girls, they let the press and media in the follow the girls growing up. Now in their 20's, one of them was very adamant how much she had hated this, and as a teenager, she refused for many years to take part. Their parents also said, had they had the time over they would not have been filmed. When we were offered the chance to appear on this programme , this thought had stuck in my mind, that I was making a decision that some of my children did not really understand and may resent me for making later on.
Anyway, it has most certainly caused three weeks of some quite heated debates.
I think what I have learnt the most, having been placed in a spotlight slightly as a larger family, is how much I will really try to not judge the people I see on other documentaries and programmes. I, like everyone am the first to watch such things and condone, as we all do from time to time without actually wondering how much has been edited and manipulated for 'good TV'.
I love the family stare!! We've joked about doing that, but never have. My dh gets really upset by the stares, but since I am out with the kids more than him I've learned to just ignore it - most of the time, besides, I'm usually too busy counting heads to notice people staring...lol. I am going to do a blog post, but I'll tell you now - we were out today at the laundry mat and this woman left the laundry mat and then came back with food from McDonalds for all of us!! She was from a family with 13 kids and she just enjoyed remembering back, and the kids were so good and helpful, and she wanted me to have anight off - so, many people are very supportive and kind about it in our experience. Though, once a man yelled across a parking lot that dh and I needed to "find a new hobby" and that was back when we only had 5 kids....imagine what he would be yelling now??....lol. I haven't seen the show you are talking about - or any shows, as we don't have cable tv, so I can't comment there, but I have read some comments about large families in general and a lot of them get pretty mean and rough. Most of them don't even know what they are talking about, they just have ideas of what they think they know and then start flapping their lips when they shouldn't. Anyway, I think it's great you passed on doing the show - we would have too!
ReplyDeleteThat's so kind of her! Once in Prague a guy in a restaurant bought all the children ice creams! Really touching when people do random acts of kindness like that.
DeleteWe reserve the family stare for the very rude only, as it's a bit intimidating really!